The Miley Bandwagon

I tried to fight it. I didn't want to get on, but Miley's bandwagon just kept driving by my house, beckoning me to jump on. I looked the other way, I squeezed my eyes tight, I closed the blinds but resistance is futile. I am finally giving in to the teddy bears and foam fingers and I am jumping on.
Did Miley make a poor judgement call? Yes, I think she did. But, in all honesty, if someone kept track of all the poor calls I made when I was in my 20's, I would be screwed. Her performance on the VMA's was uncomfortable, disgusting, poorly choreographed and an all over train wreck. But the thing is, how many adults around her condoned this performance? Did any of them say, "no" or even take her aside and try to talk some sense into her? This performance was the culmination of a lot of people, not just Miley, a 20 year old. Where are the adults who are supposed to be protecting this girl? Does she have anyone who will tell her to keep her tongue in her mouth and her clothes on? It is obvious she doesn't. And that is where this whole thing gets sad.
Kids(even 20 year old ones)need some role models. They need someone to guide them, help them see the best in themselves and be honestly firm when it just gets out of hand. The adults around Miley should be ashamed of themselves. Every single person, from wardrobe to set design(if you can call a giant teddy bear that)who stood idly by and, by doing so, became part of the awful scene that played out at the VMA's should feel responsible.
Miley, if you ever read this, you are talented, beautiful and way better than some cheap dance in a teddy bear leotard. Someone should have told you that already and I am sorry they didn't.
And now, I have to jump back off the bandwagon, the teddy bears are giving me the creeps.

What's A Mocus?

Why in the world do we make up silly names for our young children's private parts? I mean, what's wrong with "penis" or "vagina?" Haven't they been around for quite awhile? They seem to have held their own this long so why not tell it to little Magnus like it is? I will tell you why! Because we want to keep our children innocent and young for as long as we can! And I'm okay with that! There is just something "grown up" about the word "penis" and i don't want my 3 year old to grow up that fast! So, yes, I will refer to his private part as his "mocus" for as long as I damn well please. And you tell little Gertrude that her private part is her "hoo hoo" and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it! Besides, are they mature enough to know the correct vernacular yet? I'm not even sure I am mature enough...hell, I giggle when someone uses the word "rod" in a sentence or when my score playing dominoes lands on "69." So, here's the deal. There is nothing wrong with delaying the inevitable "penis" or "vagina" conversation a little bit longer(unless your little guys is 34 and still lives at home...then it may be a bit overdue). Let's savor their childhood. There is enough going on in the world to hurry along their maturity. And if Nancy down the street takes pride in the fact that her 3 old uses the word "penis" with ease, let her. He'll probably be the kid getting his lunch money stolen anyway.